Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sporadic

Who Can I Run to is a thought that came to me one day when I was going through some hard times never imagining that it would or could get worse. Ultimately I know the one to run to is my heavenly father, yet I don’t I run or depend on everyone else mainly W who happens to be my man go figure right. Its funny for years I was extremely lonely all I thought I wanted was a boyfriend, I thought once I got one everything would be wonderful; but I was wrong, Things are much better but there is still apart of me that is empty, unsatisfied, and looking for something and he suffers for it because I try to fulfill it through him. at times I believe the void in my life is b/c of my lack of money, yes it would be great to have an abundance of it and not worry about how I will pay all bills due and provide food and shelter but that’s not it, I think it might be a lack of Christ in my life. Do I really trust God to do what he said he would do? Or am I to scare to step out and trust him? What ever it is I have to do something quick.

How does one step out a box when all they have ever known is that box? I talk a good game and seem intelligent but no one would ever guess that I am a fake failure with nothing to offer b/c I’m so afraid of failure I allow it to stop me from doing anything out side the norm. Is there more to you than meets the eye? Does your life paint a picture different from the one you know you can live but because you failed so much people just writes you off? well I know that I will be successful I just don’t want anyone to give up on me and feel that everything I say is just talk so I sometime feel that I’m in a race against time. Case and point I began this blog to chronicle not my fall from grace but my rise out of mediocrity to success, financial freedom, security, and trust but I was ready to give up before I even started b/c I was so worried about what people would say and all the what if’s that stop you from doing anything then my sister Yet said don’t give up but the thing that made me want to complete this blogging journey was from to ladies I don’t even know. their simple words of encouragement inspired me to keep doing something as simple as completing a task that I started so I will leave you with this thought: 1) don’t rush be patient what’s for you is for you: 2) don’t base your decisions on what you think other people are thinking and the what if’s just trust God because know matter what you are offering at least you are offering something and you never know how it might touch a person in a positive way thank you Yet, Miss Kitty, and Pretty Robotic for not being selfish with your compliments.

Sidebar Micheal Jackson died today...So Sad

3 comments:

  1. First of all I am loving your blog. I can so relate to this last post. I went through a divorce so my whole income situation changed, and also my stress level. My mom is always like just be patient and things will happen, but until then its just everyday of thinking will I have enough! Keep up these awesome posts!

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  2. Je ne peux pas lire tous que tu as écrit mais les mots que j'ai vu sont trop vrai! Plus tard, je vais s'écrive plus...

    ...translate....

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  3. You are sooo welcome Ahlumba! Thank you so much for even mentioning me...Please continue your blog as a testament to yourself the beginning of something wonderful and uplifting. I'm so proud of you. And your writing is amazing. Be bless. And I hope you find the filling for your empty space.

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